


Little BAU

by LittleEm



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Hurt Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Kidnapped Spencer Reid, Kidnapping, Non-Sexual Age Play, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-17
Updated: 2020-10-13
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:08:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 19,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25950376
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleEm/pseuds/LittleEm
Summary: At some point at the BAU age regression had been discovered by Reid and his team, many of the team took part in this coping mechanism. It helped with their trauma, on and off the job. They all took care of each other, they were a family. And right now part of their family was missing and being brutally tortured.
Relationships: Penelope Garcia & Derek Morgan, Spencer Reid & The BAU Team
Comments: 19
Kudos: 118





	1. Letting go

**Author's Note:**

> Set to take place at the ends of season 2 ep 15 of criminal minds.

Reid had been taken by the unsub. The team watched, watched as he seized and stopped breathing over the video feed. The saw how beaten and tortured he was, their hearts ached for their team member, for the friend, for their little. At some point at the BAU age regression had been discovered by Reid and his team, many of the team took part in this coping mechanism. It helped with their trauma, on and off the job. They all took care of each other, they were a family. And right now part of their family was missing and being brutally tortured.

By the time they found Reid the unsub was dead, shot by Reid moments earlier. The team rushed to his side, not sure of how he would react they all slowly approached and huged and him and explained how glad they were to see them.  
"How has he not dropped?" Morgan asked to Gideon, suprised to see the man walking and talking. Gideon shrugged, because in all honesty he had expected to find Reid regressed and in pain. Instead he found a broke man, who had been drugged and tortured for hours upon hours, and wasn't letting down his guard anytime soon. The team knew they need to get him some place he felt safe, after they cleared him of any serious injuries. 

Finally on the plane the team began to rest, except for Gideon and Reid. Gideon walked over to Reid, trying to casually check on him. "Can't sleep?" He asked him. Reid shook his head. "Reid, you've been through a lot today. And I just want to remind you, you are safe. Everything is gonna be okay. Let go" he said as he sat down next to the younger man. "Let go Reid, I'll be right here" Reid made no comment, he seemed completely checked out. "Spenc, look at me" he said as he reached out to hold the man's hand. "What's bothering you kiddo, I can't help unless you tell me" he said in a much calmer quieter voice. Reid didn't say anything, instead he went to cover his right arm. Gideon had noticed the arm had been covered since they found him. "Did he hurt you there?" Reid shrugged, because he wasn't sure how to answer that question. The man hadn't hurt him, he had drugged him. "Spencer can you show me your arm?" Reid immediately shook his head, as he began to panic. "Okay, okay. Breathe buddy. It's okay" Reid calmed a bit after the subject was dropped but was still obviously in panic. "Okay, how about this. I'm gonna offer you two options and you let me know which sounds better right now, okay?" He asked, waiting for Reid to nod. Gideon held up his right hand as he began to offer the boy his first choice, "would you like headphones with some music" or he began as he lifted his left hand, "watch a movie?" He waited for Reid to make a choice, letting him take as much time as he needed. Evantually Reid pointed to the man's right hand. "Okay, good choice. Now would you like water or apple juice to drink" Reid pointed left indicating apple juice. "Bottle or sippy cup" Reid pouted at this question, because he didn't want to admit that he was regressed and had been repressing it for most of the day. He took a deep breathe and shyl pointed right for a bottle. "Awesome job Spencer, Ill be right back, okay"

Gideon soon returned with a bottle of apple juice, an ipod, some headphones, as well as a blanket and a stuffie. He set Reid up with some calming piano music while he wrapped him in the blanket and encouragingly pushed the stuffied towards him. Reid took the stuffed penguin with a small smile. He began rocking to the rhythm of the piano while sipping at his apple juice. It wasn't the perfect situation put it would be enough for now. Gideon stood up to go give the boy some space, until he heard a small whimper and a hand reaching out. "Stay" he said quietly, pleading with tear filled eyes. "Of course" Gideon responded as he sat down and pulled the regressed boy into his arms.


	2. I can't

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens after Reid and the team land back at Quantico, after Reid's long day of torture with the unsub Tobias.

Reid woke up to find Gideon gone, a pacifier in his mouth, and his beloved stuffed penguin on the floor. At some point during the flight, he had fallen asleep. He slowly took the pacifier out and looked up to see where everyone else was. It seemed as if the rest of the team was still resting, save for Aaron Hotchner, who seemed to be reading. Reid thought about walking over to Hotch and asking for some cuddles and comfort, as Gideon was nowhere to be seen, but he didn’t. There was still part of him that was fighting his headspace, his regression that he so desperately wanted to embrace. After the case, he just had he wanted nothing more than to cuddle and regress. Feel safe, and taken care of again, and not think about all the things that had happened in the last 24 hours. As Reid spiraled about all of this Hotch had finally looked up to see Reid, tired and clearly fighting his headspace. Hotch smiled over to the boy and set his book down. “Have a good nap, Spencer?” Hotch asked the boy. Spencer looked like he wanted to say something, wanted to have a conversation, and prove that he wasn’t a baby, wasn’t weak, but he couldn’t. The words were too hard to find and he just couldn’t do it, the frustration built up and resulted in silent tears falling down his face. Hotch smiled down at the boy, “Its okay buddy, I know talking can be hard sometimes. Is it okay if I sit down with you?” Spencer nodded as his thumb slowly made its way up to his mouth. “Here let’s try this instead,” Hotch said as he handed Reid his pacifier. A pale baby blue, with the words ‘Smart baby’ written on the handle. Reid took the pacifier and immediately began sucking on it, forgetting how soothing it could be. The pacifier gave him something to focus on, not to mention it helped his breathing and from chewing on his nails. “There we go, much better,” Hotch said as he brought the stuffie back up to Reid. As Reid began to relax Hotch began to move his hand into his hair, slowly stroking and playing with the long locks. “Is there anything else you need baby?” Hotch asked trying to lul the boy back to sleep because if anyone on this plane needs to sleep it was Spener Reid. Spencer was able to manage a small no around his pacifier as he leaned further into Hotch as if he could disappear into the man. “Baby, why are you hiding?”   
“Don’t want people to see”  
“Spencer why not? Everyone on here loves you, whether your big and helping us solve a case, or little and need some cuddles”  
“Shouldn’t be little” Spencer finally choked out. Hotch did his best not to look upset or sad towards the boy because fighting his headspace was a problem Reid had. “Spencer, we’ve talked about this. You are allowed to be little whenever you want. So answer me this do you want to be little? Not should you be, but do you want to?” Spencer pouted and hid further into Hotch’s chest, “Want to be, but….” Hotch cut him off before he could say anything “then it’s settled you are little” he said smiling at the boy.

The rest of the flight went by pretty fast, Reid fell asleep again not too long after Hotch began holding him. Gideon eventually returned and smiled at the sight of a sleeping read curled up in Hotch’s arms. “We shouldn’t let him go home by himself tonight,” Gideon said to Hotch as he sat across from the pair. “I agree, I didn’t see anyone else regressed did you?” Hotch asked, wanting to make sure the rest of the team was also good, and safe. “No Morgan seems to be fine, as well as JJ and Emily. If anything I think they are still too worried about Reid” Hotch nodded at this because they all had been pretty stressed over the abduction of the boy. “I’ll take him” Gideon decided. The boy would need a lot of care, and it might be helpful to be with his first and primary caregiver. That being said any of the team would have made sure Reid felt safe and happy. 

When they finally landed Gideon grabbed the sleeping boy into his arms and walked them to his car. He strapped Spencer into the back seat making sure he had his blankie, stuffie, and paci with him before closing the door and beginning the drive home. It was a nice drive back, it helped to keep Reid asleep and calm. When they finally got to Gideon’s home the boy was beginning to wake up. “Hey buddy, we’re home. Do you think you can walk inside or you want me to carry you in?”   
“Carry,” Reid asked quietly. “Of course” Gideon responded as he got out to get the boy. He lifted Reid into his arms once again. Reid laid his head onto the caregiver’s chest, seeking the comfort he know he needed. “Okay Spencer, I have to go get our stuff just sit right here for me then we’ll get you changed and have a nice bottle of warm milk, okay?” He said as he set the regressed boy on the couch. He leaned down to give Spencer a kiss on the forehead before leaving to get their bags. He returned to see Spencer sitting on the couch just staring forward. Gideon couldn’t help but frown. Normal his baby would be smiling, talking with his stuffies, or asking his caregivers to read to him. But right now he couldn’t except Spencer to be normal, right now his boy needed so much extra love and care, and that’s what he would get. “Okay baby, I’m back let’s get you all changed and ready for a bottle and cuddles,” Gideon said smiling trying to coax a smile out of the boy. Spencer raised his hand at his caregivers, signaling he wanted to be held. “Okay buddy, up we go,” Gideon said as he lifted the boy back into his arms. He carried Spencer to his room, it was the old guest room that Gideon converted into a nursery should anyone from the team need a safe place to regress and sleep. He set Reid onto the bed and walked over to the closet. He pulled out to onesies, “Which would you like?” He asked showing Reid his options, on the right a pale lavender onesie, and on the other dark blue onesie with stars and moons. Reid pointed to the blue onesie. Gideon helped him changed into the onesie, and then a pull-up, deciding it best to leave with some extra protection even if he whined and pouted about it. Once he was all changed and good to go Gideon lifted him up into his arms to bring into the kitchen. Even though he would later rock Reid in the nursery he knew the boy wouldn’t want to be too far away from his caregiver at the moment, so he held him as he made the bottle of warm milk. It was definitely hard to do so while holding Reid, but he knew it made the boy feel safer to be in his arms. “Okay all finished, now let’s go rock and maybe read a story” Gideon added trying to entice the boy, it worked he got a small smile and wiggle at the mention of a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all, I plan on continuing where I left off and then I might skip around during episodes if I find something that I really wanna write about. :)


	3. Family day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team comes over to help take care of Reid, and two other littles join them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have so many ideas know, and I can't wait to write them all out.

Gideon and Reid made their way over to the rocking chair in the nursery, Reid had started to look a little more attentive with the familiar surroundings and routine of care. Gideon picked out some simple but favorite books to read to Reid, it wouldn’t be their normal book that they were working through but it would be familiar favorites. Thats what Gideon was focused on, making Reid feel safe and nothing said safety like routine and familiarity. Gideon held Spencer so that he was cradled and comfortable in his arms, he would be able to help Reid with his bottle while still reading and showing Reid the pictures. After two stories Reid was asleep in his caregiver’s arms. Gideon didn’t want the moment to end so he stayed in the chair, rocking and holding Reid. It was hard to imagine ever letting go of Reid after the case, all he wanted to do was keep Reid safe, and he Reid hadn’t been safe he had been tortured. He and the team would need to be there for Reid, to keep him safe and to feel safe. They all had their own traumas and nightmares, but this would be a big stressor for Reid and it was important that he had support while going through this. 

Reid woke up the next morning in a similar regressed state, quite and wanting attention. Gideon suspected that he had regressed to a younger age, therefore needing more care and attention. While Reid never regressed to old, it was unusual to see him this quiet and dependent on his caregiver, not that Gideon or anyone else on the team minded. In fact, that was one of the driving reasons that they all decided to come visit. Hotch, Morgan, Garcia, JJ, and even Emily were on their way to visit. Morgan was excited to see his currently younger brother, as he had also woken up regressed. No one else on the team was regressed, but none the less were still excited to see their team, their family. “Now Derek remember, Spencer is feeling younger today he may not want to play” Garcia reminded the boy. Derek pouted at this fact because he wanted to play with his brother, he missed him. “Fine” Derek finally responded. Garcia smiled and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, “Thats my good little boy”  
“Not little” Derek choked out, trying not to blush at the affection of his caregiver. Garcia simply smiled at the boy, not wanting to point out that he was clearly little, only reaching about 4 or 5 years old.

The rest of the team finally pulls up to Gideon’s house. Garcia helps Derek out of the car, making sure he is holding her hand till the enter the house, so as not to lose him. This is typical behavior for Derek, he is normally regressed around the ages of 4-7 with Garcia as his main caregiver. Whereas Reid regresses anywhere from 1-6, today was just one of the days where he was definitely feeling younger. The rest of the team also takes part in the coping mechanism, Gideon and Hotch are caregivers most often to Reid, JJ, and Emily. Garcia, JJ, Emily, and Morgan were all switches, being able to regress or caregive. Most of the time it was Reid and Morgan who would regress, JJ and Emily regressed just not as often and Garcia rarely did, but she still had her moments where she regressed. 

“Hello” Hotch announced as the team entered the house. The house was quiet just the sound of quiet piano music playing, no giggles or cartoons. “Spencer” Derek shouted as he broke free from his caregiver running to his brother. “Derek! Don’t run” Garcia shouted after the boy. She sighed as her boy ran straight into the living room where a little Reid was curled up on Gideon. “Wow, careful there Derek. Don’t wanna wake your brother” Gideon said as he welcomed the boy into a small hug around Reid’s sleeping body. “Sorry” Derek muttered. “Hey Gideon” JJ said as she sat down next to the man, leaning over to move Spencer’s hair out of his face. “I can take him if you wanna get up” Hotch offered. “Thanks, Hotch. Anyone want anything to drink” Gideon added as he passed the sleeping boy off to his other caregiver. “Apple juice,” Derek asked. “What do you say?” Garcia added prompting the boy. “Pleaseeeee” Derek added dragging out the last bit of the word to show how much he wanted apple juice. “Of course bud, you want your red or blue sippy cup,” Gideon asked, trying not to start an argument with the boy about needing a sippy cup. Because no matter what Derek said, he needed a sippy cup, there were plenty of spills and accidents to prove it. “Red, please” Derek responded. Garcia smiled at the boy, “Derek you are being such a good boy today, thank you” Derek couldn’t help but blush at the praise given by his caregiver.

Gideon soon returned with a sippy cup full of apple juice for Derek and a bottle with water for Spencer. He smiled at the scene he had returned to. Hotch was holding Spencer on the couch just as Gideon was before he left to get the drinks, JJ was next to Hotch playing with Spencer’s hair. Garcia was holding onto a very bouncy Derek who clearly wanted to be playing instead of sitting. Emily was off to the side, smiling but obviously looking left out. Gideon handed out the drinks and walked over to Emily and suggested she ask Derek if he wanted to go outside to play. Emily smiled at the man and took the suggestion, Derek nodded and ran over to Emily dragging her outside to play, Garcia followed behind smiling at the two. 

“How’s he been?” JJ finally asked. “He’s doing about as well as we can expect him to be”  
“I know” JJ responded looking defeated. She had felt so helpless through all of this, it was a wonder how she herself had not regressed. “How are you doing JJ,” Hotch asked, knowing that she was blaming herself for Reid’s capture. “As good as I can, I was there Hotch I could have stopped it”  
“JJ don’t you dare start thinking about it like that. What happened, happened there is no use in blaming yourself. We did all we could and we got Reid back, thats what’s important. So JJ I’ll second Hotch’s question and ask how are you doing” Gideon pressed the question, knowing JJ and the rest of the team for that matter was hurting a lot more than anyone wanted to let on. JJ took a shaky breathe, tears slowly fell down as she opened her mouth to talk, but all that came out was a small whimper. Hotch looked at Gideon, trying to decide who would take JJ and help calm her down, and potentially help her regress. “Hey it’s okay,” Gideon responded walking over to JJ and kneeling in front of her. “Everything is going to be okay, we are all safe now. JJ, look at me, everything is okay” JJ continued to cry, she finally leaned in and collapsed into Gideon. “Okay baby, everything is gonna be okay. Come on let’s go get you some water and maybe your stuffie. Yeah, hows that sound? Let’s go find your bear” Gideon said to JJ, knowing she could barely hear him, but knowing that his voice would help ground her. Gideon carried JJ into the nursery, grabbed the bear, and settled onto the rocking chair. “Breath with me kiddo” Gideon added. He talked about his breathing and made sure JJ followed along and began to calm down. “There we go, good job. JJ you are doing such a good job” As Gideon continued to praise JJ she began to calm down. “Thank you,” JJ said quietly, always feeling guilty for whenever she broke down. “Of course, thats why I’m here. Now I know you don’t wanna focus on you but we have to make sure you are feeling good just as much as Reid is. So JJ how are you feeling? What would be helpful right now?” Gideon asked as he began to slowly rub JJ’s back hoping to keep her calm while talking about the care she needed. “I.. Think I wanna be little….but only if it’s not gonna be too much”  
“Its never too much JJ. Okay do you wanna change or stay in the clothes you are wearing”  
“Umm, can I have my monsters Inc sweater and sweatpants?”  
“Of course, how about you sit on the bed and I’ll go pick it out” Gideon responded smiling at the girl in his lap. He helped her up and onto the bed. He picked out the outfit she had selected and helped her change. JJ never let go over her bear, and then asked Gideon for a paci. Gideon smiled at her and clipped her plain purple paci onto her sweater. “Would you like to walk or be held”  
“Walk” JJ responded, still wanting to feel some sense of independence. “Okay, ready to go back?” Gideon asked as he held her hand ready to walk out to the living room as soon as she was. JJ nodded, and they both walked out into the living room joining Hotch and a now awake Spencer. “Spencer!” JJ said she was so excited to see her brother even if he was littler and wouldn’t be able to play with her and Derek. Spencer perked up at hearing his sister’s voice, he even tried to wiggle his way off Hotch’s lap and onto the ground toward JJ. “Woah, careful there baby, don’t want you to fall,” Hotch said as he helped Spencer to the ground. He sat Spencer down, not wanting the boy to try and walk and fall. JJ ran up to Spencer and gave him a big hug, “Missed you lots” JJ said as she hugged the boy closer to her. Spencer smiled and hummed in agreement. After the two finished hugging Spencer looked up towards Hotch, wanting to be picked up again. “Oh, now you want my cuddles” Hotch teased the boy as he picked up returning him to his lap. Reid nodded and leaned into Hotch, proving Gideon right in his theory that Reid would need a lot of affection in the coming days. “JJ did you wanna go play with Derek outside?” Gideon asked. “Is Spencer gonna come outside?” JJ asked not wanting to leave her brother’s side. Hotch and Gideon looked towards Spencer, trying to see if he showed any inclination towards going outside. “What do you say, Spencer, you wanna go join them outside?” Spencer looked up at Hotch as if he would answer his own question for him. “I’m going to take that as a reluctant yes,” Gideon said laughing. “Yay” JJ cheered as she ran to the back door to join Derek and the others. “Careful JJ, no running” Gideon shouted after her. Hotch let out a small laugh at the antics of his family. “Okay, buddy, let’s go join them and see what they’re up to,” Hotch said as he lifted the boy and began walking outside. “JJ!” Derek shouted as he saw his sister running towards him, “Came to play with you, and even convinced the baby to come outside!” JJ said as she ran in for a hug. “What are you playing?” JJ asked more focused on playing than talking at this point. “Well, Emily and mommy were helping me play pirates. Wanna join?” Derek asked, pointing to his ‘crew’ as they were in mid-play of searching for buried treasure. “Yeah!” JJ shouted, excited to be playing. JJ leaned in close to Derek and whispered, “We gotta included Spencer though”. Derek nodded at this suggestion and then brought JJ into their game. Gideon and Hotch found a nice shady spot close enough to the others that they could be included but not too close that Spencer would be in harm’s way of their crazy jumping and spinning.  
The game continued until it was close to dark, to which Garcia and Emily suggested they look near Spencer for the treasure. The suggestion gave JJ and Derek a great idea of how to finally include their brother. The four finally marched over to the tree that Hotch, Gideon, and Spencer had been leaning against for the majority of the game. “Captain JJ I think I know where the treasure is!” Garcia shouted. “Where? I don’t see it? The map said it would be under a big tree, but all I see is the” JJ responded confused, Derek nodded in his confusion. “You’re right Penolpe there is treasure over here. Look guys” Emily said as she nodded at Gideon who produced two bowls of ice cream. “Wow!” JJ and Derek responded, clearly excited to see the ice cream. “Good job you guys,” Gideon said as he handed them both their ice cream bowls. “What about Spencer?” JJ asked, not wanting to leave out the boy. “JJ that’s very nice of you to ask, do you wanna see if Spencer would like some ice cream,” Garcia asked. “Spence, did you want some ice cream, Derek and I are gonna have some. It’s really yummy. Look” JJ added as she took a bite of her ice cream making sure to exaggerate how yummy it was. Spencer giggled and nodded, “Okay Spencer, one more ice cream bowl coming your way.”  
“And then a bath for you three, because I have a feeling this ice cream is going to end up all over you more than it will be eaten” Hotch teased.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CG and Little chart  
> Aaron Hotchner - caregiver, primary CG to Reid.  
> Derek Morgan - switch, little age 4-7, primary CG is Penelope Garcia (Mommy).  
> Emily Prentiss - switch, little age 3-7, primary CG is Hotch and JJ(Mommy).  
> Jason Gideon - caregiver, primary CG to Reid.  
> Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau - switch, little age 3-8, primary CG is Gideon (Papa) and Emily(Mama).  
> Spencer Reid - little, little age 1-6, primary CG is Gideon (Daddy) and Hotch(Dada).  
> Penelope Garcia - switch, little age TBD, primary CG is Derek Morgan (Daddy).  
> David Rossi- TBD


	4. A new sister

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily is the newest member of the BAU and is still trying to find her place in the team and in their little family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This starts at 16 and continues in episode 18.

As great as the past day had been, it couldn’t last forever. Eventually, they would have to go back to work, and Reid would be with them, and no one knew what would happen. The first case back was rough, Reid was rough around the edges and absent-minded for most of the case. Derek attempted to connect with him and encourage him to be proud of the fact that he could now empathize with many of their victims; it wasn't convincing to Reid.

Their next case was in New Orleans, Reid was at least excited for this one because he had a friend there he could visit. That excitement soon ended when he was tasked with victimology alongside Emily. It wasn’t that there was anything wrong with Emily it just made him anxious that the others on the team thought he needed help, he could do this by himself, he was strong. Emily was really getting on his nerves though, she pretended like she knew everything about him, like she knew everything at the BAU. She didn’t and it was just frustrating. At that moment all Reid wanted to do was stomp and throw a tantrum, but he stopped himself knowing what would happen if he let himself slip even for a little bit. 

The case continued and Reid continued his abnormal behavior, he even missed a plane with Morgan and Emily. When Derek went to confront him about it Reid got defensive, he continued this for most of the case until finally, he broke. He promised Gideon he would never miss another plane and he meant it. Reid was going through a lot, and all the team could do was give him space and support. Even when that meant watching him aimlessly try to figure out what to do with himself. It was painful to watch, but they knew that Reid needed to go through it. There were still details of Reid’s torture that even he wasn’t ready to admit out loud, it was a process.

When they all finally got on the plane back to Quantico that's when the team finally seemed to relax, and for many of them slipped into their regression. Emily slipped into her regression, as did Reid, both Morgan and JJ showed no signs of regression and were content to watch the other two regress and get some needed sleep themselves. It was obvious that Emily’s slip was due to the pressure on the case but also the added social pressure between her and Reid and the team in general. From the moment Emily arrived the team was on guard and suspicious of her joining the team, especially so soon after Elle. Emily had started to become part of the team and even their little family of sorts because it was hard to avoid considering how much time they all spent together. At first, Emily had been adamant about staying out of their coping mechanisms but eventually became interested and helped Gideon and Hotch take care of the regressed team members at the time. Emily said she thought she might be a switch, but had never actually regressed with the team, it was all a theory up until that moment. 

Gideon and Hotch were a little stunned at first to see Emily had regressed because they also had no idea who she might want to take care of her. Hotch decided that he would try and see how she responded to him, this would also help them see what age she was at. “Hey there Emily, how are you?” Hotch asked while kneeling down in front of her seat. She shrugged, she seemed a little uneasy, like she wasn’t sure what she was supposed to be doing. “That's okay. Can you tell me how old you are?” Hotch asked, trying to keep her calm. She shook her head as tears began to fill her eyes. “Oh, it's okay sweetie. Would it be okay if I sat next to you?” Hotch asked, wanting to make sure she was okay with any care they gave her. She nodded and made room for Hotch next to her. Once Hotch had sat down Emily moved closer to him, and buried her head in his chest. Trying to hide, or find any semblance of comfort from the man. “It's okay Emily, I'm right here. Everything is gonna be okay.” Hotch said, attempting to repeat positive mantras in order to calm and ground the girl. When Emily’s tears stopped Hotch decided to test something and see what might be bothering her. “Hey Emily, would you like something to drink? We have water, apple juice, hot chocolate..” Hotch began to list off until Emily looked up at him nodding at the last suggestion, Hotch smiled at her. “Okay, are you gonna be okay if I go and make it?” Hotch asked, wanting to test how dependent Emily. She looked down avoiding Hotch’s gaze, not wanting Hotch to leave but also not wanting to bother him. “Hey Gideon, would you mind grabbing Emily some hot chocolate?” Hotch asked, sensing that it would be better to stay by Emily at that point. “No problem. Spencer, do you want anything?” Gideon asked the boy who was currently sitting in his lap. “Apple juice, please?” Spencer slurred around his pacifier. “Of course, now while I go get those how about you stay with Dada and Emily,” Gideon said as he helped the boy down, and over towards Hotch and Emily. Once seated near Emily and Hotch Spencer resumed his coloring, only to stop moments after Gideon left the room. Small tears began to fill as Spencer feared his Daddy had left him. “Spencer, why don't you come join me and Emily over here?” Hotch suggested seeing the beginning of a meltdown in the boy’s eyes. Spencer nodded and put his coloring down, he walked over to Hotch and leaned into him and Emily. Spencer looked confused at seeing someone else with his Dada. “Who's that?” Reid asked. “This is Emily. Emily can you say hi to Spencer” Reid waved and waited for Emily to return the greeting but didn’t. “Hey Emily, you remember Spencer don’t you?” Hotch asked sensing the awkwardness that had been created. Emily nodded and shrunk away from Spencer as far as she could without leaving Hotch. As Hotch watched this interaction he was reminded of the two’s recent frustration towards each other, mainly Reid being rude towards Emily. And while their dispute had been settled as adults, Emily still felt hurt by Reid and his actions towards her. Hotch sighed because boy was this going to be a tough conversation. He wanted Reid to apologize for his actions over the past few weeks towards Emily but was unsure of how to do so when Reid’s age regression was often so detached from his big persona, it was as if they were two different people at times. “Hey Spencer, do you remember Emily. You two work together when you are big?” Hotch said, trying to remind him without forcing him out of his headspace. Reid nodded and suddenly was struck with the same realization Hotch had. Little Spencer Reid didn’t have a mean bone in his body, and remembering all the things he had said towards Emily brought him to tears. He never wanted to hurt anyone, Emily was part of their family. “I'm so sorry,” Reid said as the tears began to fall down his cheeks, “Never meant to be mean to you, just been feeling yucky. I’m really sorry Emily. I was really excited to see you with Dada because that means I have another sister. I sorry” Reid said, looking down, not wanting to face the rejection he was sure Emily would give him. Emily took a shaky breath and looked towards Reid, “It's otay” she said, still looking away. “Does that mean we can still be brother and sister?” Reid asked hope in his voice. Emily nodded. “Yay!” Reid exclaimed. He moved in to hug her and then remembered to ask first because it's important to ask, “Can I give you a hug?” Reid asked. Emily nodded again and leaned into the hug. Hotch smiled at the two, glad to see them feeling better, hoping that this would help Emily further enjoy her regression now that this had been dealt with.

Gideon finally returned with the drinks to see the two coloring together near Hotch, Spencer still had his pacifier in while coloring with one hand while holding his penguin stuffie close to him in his other. Emily sat close next to him coloring and smiling, she didn’t have any stuffies yet but did have a plain yellow pacifier in her mouth. “What are you guys coloring?” Gideon asked as he moved to sit down near Hotch, placing the drinks near the two. “Bunch of animals!” Emily said “Yeah? Which one is your favorite Emily?”  
“The Lion. They are strong and big and fluffy” She said while giggling. “And what about you Spencer?” Hotch asked, not wanting the boy to feel left out. “Penguin!” He said triumphantly, despite the drawing not having any penguins because Reid would always love penguins in his drawings or not.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch can't wait to sink into his caregiver headspace after a particularly troubling case.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Set to take place after season 2 ep 19

So many families had died in this last case, and while none of the team wanted to see it happened it was most disturbing to Hotch. Hotch felt helpless as he watched families burn to death, only to have the unsub and another suspect burn themselves to death in the end. This case couldn’t be over soon enough, and Hotch couldn’t wait to be back with his family. To Hotch, his family included his wife and son back home, but also the BAU. After a case like this Hotch’s paternal instinct and caregiver headspace were strong and hard to suppress. When they finally got on the plane back to Quantico Hotch couldn’t wait to see which of his team members would regress and who he could finally take care of. Just as regression was a coping mechanism to many so was caregiving, it gave Hotch a sense of control and pride. Just Hotch’s luck, his family was craving the coping mechanism too. Reid, Morgan, JJ, and Emily were all regressing into their younger headspaces. 

The plane ride back to Quantico was going to be a little crazy, as this was the first time that all four agents had regressed at the same time. There would be four littles and only two caregivers to help them, it was a daunting task but Hotch couldn’t be more excited to take it on. Hotch was smiling as he helped wrangle all of the littles into some pajamas and into their seats with coloring or stuffies, whatever was best suitable for the age at the time. “Okay, Gideon I think it’d be best if I take Emily. I'm not sure about Derek though”   
“Well both Reid and JJ are around 3 so it's probably best I keep them together coloring and cuddling seems to be enough to keep them calm”  
“Okay, I’ll take Derek and Emily then. Let me know if you need anything.” Hotch said as he walked over to the two. Derek was closer to 5 right now whereas Emily was 4. The trouble with Hotch was less with how old they all regressed to but how Derek was feeling. Derek had a hard time regressing without Garcia there, and anytime he did regress without her he spent most of the time missing her. “Hey, guys, what are you up to?” Hotch asked as he sat down next to the two. “Coloring!” Emily responded excitedly. It was heartwarming to see the girl so happy in her newly found headspace, and in such a better mood than the last time. “What about you Derek?” Hotch asked, turning his attention to the boy. The only answer Hotch received was a small shrug as the boy pulled his legs up to his chest and curled inward. “Missing your mommy?” Hotch asked. Derek looked up at the caregiver and nodded, tears beginning to fill his eyes. “Oh buddy, I know. You’ll see her soon I promise. Until then what can we do to make you feel better” Hotch asked, trying to get something out of Derek. “Movie?” Derek asked. He wasn’t in the mood to color or play anything, he was tired and wanted his mommy. “Of course, a movie sounds like a great idea. Would you like to pick the movie?”  
“Nemo”  
“Great choice. Emily, would you like to join us?” Hotch asked, thinking this might be a great way for everyone to be together and unwind. Emily nodded, “Is Spencer and JJ gonna watch?” she asked. “Would you like to go ask them?” Hotch suggested so he could focus on getting the movie ready with Derek. Emily nodded and stood up to go find Gideon and the other two. “Okay Derek, do you think you could help me set up the movie and the snacks?” Hotch asked, to which Derek stood up, one arm still held around his stuffed whale that Garcia had given him. 

Derek and Hotch got the movie and snacks all set up, even a cozy little area that they could all watch and cuddle in. “It's done!” Derek said as he stood back to admire his work. “I think we did a great job, Derek,” Hotch said smiling and raising his hand for a high five, which Derek quickly returned excited to hear the praise from the normally strict man. “Well Derek this looks so cozy, I think we all might just have to sit down and watch the movie” Gideon said as he walked over with the other three. “Don’t forget the snacks!” Derek said, a little too excited. “Of course not,” Gideon said, smiling at the excitement from the boy. “Derek you wanna sit down and I’ll set the snacks and drinks out for everyone?” Hotch asked, wanting the boy to sit down and enjoy the movie. Derek nodded and sat down near Emily. Gideon had a sleepy Reid in his arms, JJ cuddled up close to his side, and Emily and Derek huddled close together nearby. Hotch placed the popcorn and candy near the middle where everyone could reach and not spill, and then handed out sippy cups and bottles with juice or water. “Hotch come sit near us,” Derek said as he pointed to the spot behind him and Emily. Hotch smiled and walked over, as soon as he was seated the two leaned back into him for cuddles. The movie began, Reid fell asleep not too soon his pacifier bobbing in his mouth as he slept in Gideon’s arms. JJ fell asleep soon after Reid, leaned up against Gideon. Whereas Emily and Derek were bouncing and excited as they watched the movie, Hotch predicted that wouldn’t last though and that they too would be soon asleep. He was proven correct as the calming soundtrack soon put the other littles asleep.

As they began their descent towards Quantico Hotch began to clean up and confer with Gideon where the littles would go if they awoke in their headspace. Emily was the first to wake up, not little but still happy and grateful for the relaxation and safety Hotch had helped her feel during the flight back. Next was JJ who was also not in her headspace. Next was Spencer, still deeply in his headspace now reaching for Hotch for cuddles, because the boy always felt guilty when he didn’t give equal cuddles to both his caregivers. Last was Derek, also still regressed. It was decided that Garcia would come pick up and take care of Derek like normal, and Hotch would go home and take care of Spencer. 

When they were finally landed they walked out the plane, JJ, Emily and Gideon said their goodbyes to the other three as they made their way home for some well-deserved sleep. Gideon lingered a little bit only to make sure Spencer knew he still loved him and would see him tomorrow. Hotch carried Spencer on his hip as they left the plane, and made sure to hold onto Derek with his hand making sure he didn’t run out of his sight. It was working until Derek saw Garcia and took off towards her. “Mommy!” he shouted as he began running, he made it about halfway there and then he fell. It wasn’t a particularly hard fall but enough that it would make a 5-year-old cry. “Oh baby,” Garcia said as she took off towards the boy, still on the ground crying. Hotch and Spencer made their way over, wanting to make sure the boy was truly okay. “Oh come here Derek, it's okay. Mommy’s here” Garcia cooed as she pulled Derek into her lap trying to calm the boy down. “That was a pretty big fall wasn’t it, baby?” Garcia asked. Derek nodded as he curled further into her. “Okay baby let's get you home, probably tired and need some cuddles, don’t you?” Garcia said. “Sorry Garcia, I was holding his hand but as soon as he saw you he bolted.”  
“It's okay Hotch, it happens. He’s not hurt, more surprised than anything I think.”  
“And tired,” Hotch added. “Yes and tired. Thanks for taking care of him though. He seemed a lot better than he normally is when he regresses without me”  
“Yeah, it actually went really well”  
“I'm glad. Well, I'm gonna go get home, you get your baby home give him lots of hugs” Garcia said as she leaned in to give Spencer a kiss on his cheek. Spencer giggled and squirmed into Hotch at this action. Hotch watched as Garcia carried Derek to carry, buckled him, and drove off. He then looked down at Reid who looked like he was about to fall asleep again at any moment. “You are looking pretty tired there baby, guess we should be getting home too then,” Hotch said as he began the walk back to his car. As terrible as this last case was, he was glad he spent the end of it with his little family. He was glad they could all be there for each other. He smiled at Reid, “Love you baby”  
“Wuv you too Dada”


	6. Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hotch helps take care of Reid overnight and helps deal with Reid's nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous chapter

Hotch and Reid finally arrived at Hotch’s house, Reid was fast asleep in the backseat when they arrived. Hotch walked around to pick Reid up and carry him into the house. They made their way inside, Reid slowly waking up but not having enough energy or ambition to get up. Reid curled further into Hotch enjoying the affection from his caregiver. Similar to Gideon's house Hotch had also turned a small guest room into a nursery type guest room better fit for his team. He entered the nursery and set Reid down on the bed, ready to see the boy either cuddle up and fall asleep or cry at being set down. Unfortunately, it was the second, Reid let out a whimper and began to cry out for his Dada. “It’s okay baby, I'm right here. It's okay” Hotch said as he picked Reid back up, rubbing small circles on his back. Hotch bounced and cuddled Reid until his tears began to die down. “Good job baby. Okay, I have to unpack, you okay going with me?” Hotch asked, wanting to see how Reid would react to being given the option of continued attention. Reid nodded and quietly said, “please”. Hotch smiled at the boy, pushing his hair back as he leaned down for a quick forehead kiss. “Of course. Okay, we’ve got your paci, your penguin. Let's go” Hotch said as he made sure to have the necessary comfort items that would help keep Spencer calm. 

Hotch carried Reid to his bedroom so that he could unpack and change into his pajamas as well, he was hoping for a shower but he had a feeling that would have to wait until either Reid was asleep or feeling more independent. “Spencer, I am going to set you down on the ground next time as I unpack, okay?” Hotch said, wanting to make sure Reid understood he was in no way leaving him. Reid nodded slowly, clearly afraid that his Dada would leave him. Hotch set Reid down next to him and began unpacking, he would look over at Reid every once in a while and smile. This was a lot harder for Reid than he thought it would be, being able to see his Dada was a big help, as object permanence was not little Spencer’s strong suit. Hotch was finally done unpacking and changing, “Okay baby all done, you did such a good job. What would you like to do before bed?” Hotch asked. Of course, Spencer had his nightly routine that he practiced by himself and even the routine that Gideon helped him with, it wasn’t often that Reid got the opportunity to spend this much time with Hotch. “Uhh, read? And Bottle?” Reid asked behind his pacifier, trying to remember what he and Daddy normally do at night. “Sounds perfect,” Hotch said as he picked up the boy to take him to the kitchen. Once in the kitchen, Hotch made a bottle of warm milk, cinnamon, and vanilla. He finished the bottle, made sure it was mixed and not too hot before going back to the nursery to pick out a book with Reid and get him ready for bed. “Okay, baby what would you like to read tonight?” Hotch asked, pointing to the small collection of children's books they had collected. Reid wiggled in Hotch’s arms, hoping he would get the signal that he wanted down so he could look at the books. Hotch put Spencer on the ground. The boy crawled over to the bookshelf, sat down, and looked for any books that looked familiar or fun. Spencer wasn’t in his youngest headspace so he was looking for a good book tonight, a little longer than a picture book but still short. He settled on a book of fairy tales, he already had two stories from the book that he wanted his Dada to read. Reid grabbed the book and looked up at Hotch, “That’s the book you want?” Hotch asked as he reached down to grab both Reid and the book. Reid nodded. “Okay. Let's get you in bed and then you can pick out which story you want” Hotch added as he put Reid in the bed, tucking him in and sitting himself behind Reid so he could help him with his bottle and keep the book in front so he could see the pictures. “Which story would you like, baby?” Reid pointed at two different pictures, the first being Rapunzel and the second being little red riding hood. Hotch began reading Rapunzel, he helped Reid drink his bottle and made sure to interact with him as he read. Reid loved to be involved in the reading process even if he couldn’t read while regressed. 

About halfway into little red riding hood Spencer fell asleep. Hotch helped tuck him into bed making sure he had his blanket, stuffie, and paci. The boy was fast asleep, and yet Hotch couldn’t leave. Little Spencer was so cute, especially when he slept, Hotch missed caregiving and being able to spend more time with his littles. This was exactly what he needed, so he didn’t leave right away. He stayed with Spencer, playing with his hair and making sure he was asleep, safe and happy. Finally, Hotch could feel himself being pulled into exhaustion and decided it was best to go to sleep. 

Hotch fell asleep only to be awoken two hours later by the cries and screams of Spencer. Hotch immediately ran into the room expecting to see the boy hurt or held at gunpoint, instead, it was a nightmare. Spencer was crying and screaming, he looked terrified but his eyes were shut, he was still asleep, still dreaming. Hotch took a deep breath and sat beside the boy, he knew he couldn’t wake the boy suddenly, it would have to be gentle. “Spencer, it’s okay. Wake up I'm right here. Dada is right here. You are safe. Please wake up baby” Hotch continued as he watched the boy cry out in pain. Eventually, Spencer woke up, still tired and crying, but no longer screaming. “Spencer, I’m right here with you” Hotch spoke out slowly, not wanting to spook the boy. Spencer finally moved his gaze to find Hotch, to which he immediately began crying even harder. “Spencer, can I come up and hold you?” Hotch asked, not wanting to overwhelm the boy. Spencer nodded quickly as he began to curl into himself. “Spencer, it's okay breath with me. Remember smell the flowers and blow out the candles” Hotch said as he began to exaggerate his breathing so Reid could follow along. Reid finally collapsed into Hotch, letting his aching body relax. The crying had stopped but Reid was still clearly affected by the nightmare, still afraid. “Spencer I know that nightmares are no fun, but do you think you could tell me what it was about?” Hotch asked, even though he was pretty sure he knew what the nightmare would be about. “Was back there. Back with Tobias” Reid said, he sounded tired, defeated, not like his little boy he had tucked into bed just hours ago. Hotch held onto Reid tighter as if the nightmare could take his boy from him. “Spencer, can you repeat after me?” Hotch asked Reid nodded.  
“I am safe,” Hotch said. He looked down at Reid, he was clearly struggling with saying this. “You can do it, Spencer. I am safe” Hotch repeated.  
“I….am….safe” Reid finally choked out, he said it quietly but the stress that left his voice after saying it was noticeable. “Good job Spencer. Okay, let's try the next one. I am loved”  
“I am loved”  
“Great job. I am strong”  
“I am umm strong”  
“Good job baby, you are doing such a good job. Last one. I am going to be okay”  
“I am going to be okay”  
“Spencer I am so proud of you. I know those are hard to say especially when you feel so scared and panicked. Now would you like to be big or little?”  
“Little” Reid said almost instantly, not wanting to be in a big headspace where these feelings were a lot harder to deal with. Not to mention when he was in his adult headspace he didn’t feel like he could ask for all these things from Hotch. “Okay, do you think you can sleep by yourself tonight or..” Hotch was interrupted by Spencer strongly saying “With you! Please”  
“Of course” Hotch smiled over at the boy. “This room or my room?” Hotch asked. “This room please”  
“Okay baby, is there anything else you need before we cuddle and try to sleep”  
“Wanna change clothes. Don’t like being in nightmare clothes.” Reid added not wanting Hotch to think he had an accident. “Of course, want to help me pick out something,” Hotch asked, standing up and holding his hand out to Reid. Reid took his hand and walked over to the dresser. They decided on a simple t-shirt and bloomers, which are really just fancy shorts with childish prints. After helping Reid into some new pajamas the two made their way back to the bed. Hotch turned on some calming piano music and pulled Reid into his arms, making sure they were both comfortable before turning out the lights. “Dada,” Reid said, fear still fresh in his voice. “Yes, baby?”  
“Don’t wanna have another nightmare”  
“I know baby, but even if you do I’ll be right here. They are just dreams. Remember you are safe, you are loved, you are strong and you are going to be okay” Reid took a deep breath and nodded, curling further into Hotch. Reid began to methodically suck on his paci and rock a bit trying to self soothe. Hotch held the boy and continued to play with his hair as he did earlier. Eventually, the two fell asleep, safe in each other's arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know Hotch has a wife and child, I'm just kind of ignoring it because it doesn't really fit in the story and also because I am mad at her for how she reacted to Hotch rejoining the BAU.
> 
> Also any suggestions for cute nicknames for any of the littles?


	7. Daddy leaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gideon leaves the BAU, but more importantly Reid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after season 3 ep 2

A letter that’s all Reid was given, a letter. He read it over and over, despite the fact that it was memorized and branded into his brain. How could Gideon do this? Reid continued to spiral as the reality of everything set in. His mentor, his friend, his caregiver had left him. He felt truly alone, abandoned, and he could feel his headspace creeping upon him, making these feelings stronger and truly unbearable. He sank into the chair, bringing his knees up to his chest and his thumb to his mouth. Reid began to rock and cry until his throat hurt and his body ached. It had been over an hour since Reid arrived and he didn’t know what to anymore. Gideon had left him. That was all Reid could think about, the thought overwhelmed and sent him into a panic, which just made the thought louder and scarier. He reached for his phone knowing he couldn’t do this alone, no matter what that part of his brain was saying. He needed someone, anyone, Gideon was gone and he needed to be with someone who could take care of him and help get through this.

Reid opened his phone, looking for Hotch not knowing who else to call because the person he so desperately needed to call he couldn’t. Hotch picked up and all he could hear was Reid crying, “Reid what happened?” Hotch asked worry high in his voice. Reid couldn’t respond just continued to cry. “Spencer, baby listen to me. Breath. Do you need me to come get you?” Hotch asked knowing that Spencer needed help and it sounded urgent, not just a phone call help. “Cabin” Reid was able to choke out between his sobs, “Okay, baby I’m on my way. Do you want me to stay on the call?” Hotch asked, not sure what Reid needs at the moment but that he didn’t want his baby to feel alone if he could help it. “Stay,” Reid said quietly. “Okay. I’m gonna stay on, you don’t have to talk if you aren’t ready just try to focus on your breathing”

Hotch drove to Gideon’s cabin, going as fast as he could to get to Reid. When he finally arrived he ran to the door, throwing it open “Spencer, its Hotch, Dada, I’m here” Hotch said as he began searching the house for the boy. He found Spencer curled upon himself in a chair at the table, on the table was a gun, a badge, and a letter. So many thoughts were going through Hotch’s mind as he took in the scene in front of him. He took a deep breath not wanting to put any further stress onto Spencer. “Spencer, what is all of this?” Hotch asked as he knelt down next to the boy, trying to calmly open him up. “Daddy left,” Spencer said in between sobs, saying this fact caused him to cry and sob even harder. Admitting that Gideon had left him hurt even more because now it was reality it wasn’t just a bad thing he was going through, but something that has happened. “Oh baby,” Hotch said understanding just how upset the boy was. Hotch reached out to Spencer and the boy let himself be picked up and held tightly against his caregiver. “Spencer, I know this is awful. I’m right here for you though. How about we take this stuff back with us and go back to my place” Hotch suggested, expecting the boy to nod and want to leave the place. Instead, Spencer shook his head and began sobbing once more, he didn’t want to leave. What if Daddy came back and he was waiting for him here, he couldn’t leave. Daddy couldn’t leave, he wouldn’t. These thoughts ran through Spencer’s mind, causing him to spiral and enter a further state of panic. He was shaking by this point and trying to grab at his hair. Hotch noticed the change in Spencer’s behavior, he felt awful for the boy but right now he needed to get Spencer through this panic attack. He walked over to the couch and sat down with Spencer in his lap. He held the boy tight but allowed him to shake and rock himself. “It’s all gonna be okay baby, just focus on breathing,” Hotch said, he continued to talk and narrate his own breathing for Spencer, hoping to ground him and help him with his own breathing. It took a while but after some time, the sobs died down to sniffles and Spencer’s breathing was more even. “Spencer I know you feel like you can’t leave but it’s okay”

“But what if Daddy comes back and I’m not here?” Spencer asked, not wanting to accept the fact that Gideon had left, probably for good. “Spencer I don’t think he’s coming back,” Hotch said with such sadness in his voice, knowing that these words would only hurt Spencer more. “It’s not fair Spencer it really isn’t. But I need you to remember this Daddy didn’t leave because he didn’t love you or because he didn’t want to be with you, he just needed to be done with the FBI and take his own path” 

“Why didn’t he tell me this instead”  
“I’m not sure baby, but my guess is that he knew he wouldn’t be able to leave if he had talked to you. Not everyone can come back to work after a traumatic case”

“I know but..” the words died on Reid’s tongue as he was not sure what he was arguing. Gideon had left, he understood why but it didn’t change how he felt. Reid took a deep breath, it was shaky but it was the first real deep breath he had been able to take in a while. “You still have me baby, and everyone else. JJ, Derek, Emily, and Penelope. They all still love you”

“Thanks, Dada” Reid responded quietly. “Now let’s get you back to my place, we can cuddle and watch a movie. How’s that sound?” Reid nodded his head at the suggestion. As much as he wanted to go home on his own to deal with this situation he knew he shouldn’t and it would only lead to bad decisions that he would regret in the morning. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter is lots of fluff of what happens after this night


	8. Not alone

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of the team learns about Gideon's decision to leave.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the last chapter.

Hotch drove Spencer back to his house, he wishes it were for better reasons that he had the little with him for the night. The reality of the situation was Reid needed affection, support, and love; because right now he felt lost and alone. Hotch was scared at first that the boy would neglect his headspace or any help from the team, but hopefully, this was a good sign.

Hotch got the boy settled in the nursery, changed into a onesie, with his favorite paci and stuffed penguin. He had to read Spencer a number of stories to get him to fall asleep, he was really afraid that if he fell asleep he would wake up alone. Spencer always had bad separation anxiety when he was little, but the added stress of Gideon leaving heightened the anxiety. Hotch decided it would be better if he stayed with Spencer, made sure he knew that he wasn’t leaving. Hotch changed into his own pajamas and cuddled up next to Reid, holding the boy tightly against him. The physical affection was as much grounding as it was a reminder that Spencer’s Dada was with him. While Spencer began to drift off to sleep Hotch’s mind wandered. How could Gideon do this to Reid, didn’t he know it would hurt him, how could he do it to any of them, didn’t they deserve more than a letter, they deserved a proper goodbye. He knew that the loss of Gideon would be hard on the team, in and out of their casework. Gideon played such a huge role in their family, it would feel weird without him. Hotch took a deep breath as he realized how affected he was by Gideon’s leaving, he had been holding it together for Reid but now that the boy was asleep he realized how hurt he was by Gideon leaving. He wasn’t looking forward to having to tell the rest of the team, luckily they all had the day off tomorrow. He would invite them over and break the news.

The night went smoothly, Reid was able to sleep the whole night away which Hotch was grateful for, he was expecting Reid to be restless and to have a nightmare. When the boy woke up Hotch was unsure if he would be little still or not, he was still very much in his headspace and in desperate need of cuddles and constant contact from his caregiver. Spencer’s clinginess proved harder than Hotch initially thought, the boy wouldn’t let him Hotch put him down even for a second, each time he tried Spencer would cry and scream until Hotch picked him back up. It took a while but eventually, Hotch was able to get both him and Spencer changed into some comfy clothes for the day. He made Spencer a simple breakfast of yogurt and fruit and a warm bottle of milk afterward. Hotch noticed that Spencer was around the age of 1, which lined up with Spencer’s previous ages when he involuntary regressed. When he involuntary regressed he was a lot younger and often needed more care, this was Hotch’s first time dealing with baby Spencer, normally he would be with Gideon. 

Hotch called everyone to come over while he was helping Reid with his breakfast, he knew it would take a while for the team to arrive so after the bottle he put Reid down for a nap. Well, he didn’t really put him down as Spencer insisted on sleeping in his lap on the couch, and how could Hotch say no to such a cute baby. He used this time to calm himself down and plan how he wanted this to go. 

JJ and Emily were the first to arrive, he had texted them that they should let themselves in with their keys as he was trapped under a sleeping Reid. The two walked into the living room cooed at the sleeping baby and sat down and began a casual conversation with Hotch. Not to soon after Derek and Penelope showed up. No one was in their headspace, except for Reid of course, but Hotch had a feeling that would change after the news. “So Hotch you gonna tell us why we’re all here? Cause I don’t think its for a fun family day” Derek said already on edge. “Gideon has decided to leave the BAU. Thats why he wasn’t on the last case. He left a note explaining some of it, you guys are welcome to read it” Hotch said bracing himself for the worst. He was met with a stunning silence, no one said anything they all just starred at Hotch in disbelief. “He’s gone, like really gone?” JJ asked tears beginning to well up in her eyes. Hotch nodded, “He is, losing Sarah really shook him up. He just didn’t feel like he could continue his work at the BAU. He didn’t leave because of any of you, and I know that he wishes he could have stayed with our family here, but it just didn’t work out”   
“How could he do this?” Derek said anger beginning to rise in his voice. “Derek he did what he had to. None of it was done to hurt any of us. You know how much he loved and cared for us all” Penelope said coming to Hotch’s aid. Hotch nodded at this and shot a smile over to her for her help. JJ finally let go and began crying, Emily reached over and pulled her into her shoulder comforting her. Derek still looked mad while Penelope looked sad, but understood the reality of the situation. “Derek, do you wanna go talk about this outside?” Penelope suggested, wanting the man to let out his feelings without feeling that he needed to censor himself. Derek nodded and stood up dragging Penelope with him. With all of the noise Spencer began to wake up, he slowly blinked his eyes open. He looked up to see Hotch and made a smile with his pacifier still bobbing in his mouth. “Did you have a good nap, baby?” Reid nodded at the question, he curled further into Hotch not wanting to move from his cozy spot that he had in his Dada’s lap. He was calmly curled up until JJ’s crying picked up and became louder, Reid shot up and looked for the sound. When he saw it was his sister crying he became panicked, why was JJ crying, was she okay? Hotch noticed and sat Spencer up in his lap, “JJ’s just a little upset baby thats all”   
“Why?” Reid asked looking confused as to what could have upset her, she was always so happy and so brave she was the best big sister. Hotch took a deep breath, “You remember how upset you were yesterday about finding out about Gideon?” Hotch asked, deciding to drop the parental name in order to get Reid used to the idea that Gideon wasn’t his caregiver anymore. Reid nodded, a frown beginning to form on his face, “Well now JJ and everyone else knows and it’s just gonna take time for them to be sad about it” Hotch explained stroking Reid’s hair hoping to distract him from the situation at hand. Reid nodded and leaned into Hotch’s touch not wanting to focus on Gideon. 

“Derek, talk to me,” Penelope said as Derek began his next lap around the small yard, pacing back and forth as if the constant motion would give him so revelation about Gideon’s leaving. “Nothin to say,” Derek said a little too fast and a little too harsh. “I know you are upset but you need to let out these feelings. Remember what happens when you bottle up all these bad feelings and thoughts”  
“Just not fair. He can’t leave” Derek finally admitted. His voice sounded defeated and small, he sank down to the grass and began crying as he brought his knees up to his chest. “It’s not fair baby. But we are gonna get through his. Just like we get through everything, together” Penelope said as she sat down next to Derek. She opened her arms to the boy, not wanting to overwhelm him with physical contact if he wasn’t ready. Derek looked towards his Mommy and launched himself into her arms. He began crying even harder as she held him, she rubbed smooth slow circles on his back as he cried. “Let it all out baby, I’m right here,” Garcia repeated as Derek cried. Once his tears began to slow down Garcia picked him up, “You ready to go back inside?” She asked wanting to make sure he was ready. He nodded as he leaned further into her not wanting to let go.

The three littles clung to their caregivers, not wanting to lose them. Hotch knew it would take time for the team to get over this but they would do it together. He had a feeling it would take more than one day, so he had the team call in for the next day. Hoping that spending time together as a family could help with the pain of losing Gideon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't stress how much I cried when Gideon left.


	9. Stargazing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The team continues to deal with Gideon's departure, by spending the day together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the previous chapter

Hotch wasn’t used to hosting one little in his host overnight let alone three, and two other caregivers; but they would make it work. Hotch had the idea once the three had fallen asleep for their naps, they were all cuddled up together on the floor in a mountain of blankets, pillows, and stuffies. “Okay I have the nursery set up but the bed really only fits two people. I have my bed upstairs which can fit two, and the sofa pulls out into a bed that could fit two people if needed” Hotch said, rambling to himself as he tried to figure out how to do this. It wouldn’t work to all sleep in the living room because while there may be three littles they still have the bodies of adults and will have aches and pains like it in the morning. “That works,” Garcia and Emily agreed, not too worried about it. “Which bed do you guys want though? Or should we try to have all the littles in one room? Or what if..” Hotch was cut off by Reid crying, it was a small noise that grew as he started to wake up. Hotch quickly walked over to the boy, picking him up. “Hey Spencer, its Dada. I’m right here” Hotch cooed as he brushed Spencer’s hair back. Hotch held the boy on his hip, bouncing as he walked them over to the nursery so he could sit and rock him. Spencer looked scared and confused most likely still trying to assess his situation after waking up from a nightmare. Hotch sat them down into the rocking chair pulling Reid into his arms, securing the boy. After a few minutes of rocking Spencer’s crying died down. He finally leaned into Hotch and relaxed, less out of feeling relaxed and more out of exhaustion. Despite the fact that Spencer had been getting more sleep most of that sleep had been plagued with nightmares, either from cases, Gideon, or just general trauma. “I know baby, I know you are tired. How about we get you changed and try to listen to some nice music and maybe read?” Hotch suggested knowing that the boy would need time to feel safe and calm enough before he was ready to be with everyone else.

“Okay baby lets get you changed. What do you think, onesie, or a T-shirt and shorts, or oh what about some shortalls?” Reid smiled at the last suggestion and nodded his head. It had been a while since Reid got to wear some of the more fun little clothes he had. Reid helped pick out a comfy red shirt and a blue pair of shortalls. Before Hotch could help Reid into the new outfit he had to check in with Reid about if he needed a diaper now. The boy hadn’t had an accident yet but was bound to with how young his headspace was but Hotch didn’t want to force Reid into anything. “Now baby do you think you need a diaper or a pull-up today?” Hotch asked. Reid simply whined at looked at his feet when asked this question. Despite using age regression for the longest out of the team he still struggled with his headspace, especially his younger headspace. Being this young meant that Reid had to put a lot of trust into his caregiver, he and Gideon had worked really hard in getting him to trust him when he was this young. And part of the trust was knowing that Gideon wouldn’t force him into something that wasn’t for his benefit. He knew Hotch was the same way but the reality was Diapers and Pull-ups were scary because they showed just how dependent he was on his caregiver. “Spencer, can you look up at me? Baby, I know this isn’t a fun question but you gotta tell me what you think you need” tears began to well in Spencer’s eyes. He didn’t know, he didn’t want any of it, he wanted to be big and be able to deal with all of this, but he couldn’t, he was just a stupid baby. The tears began to fall down his cheeks as Spencer began to panic and rock back and forth. Hotch knelt down in front of Reid, “Spencer, you know I’m only asking this because I want what’s best for you. We both know accidents are no fun, and sometimes they just happen” Hotch looked at Spencer trying to see if any of this was registering, it wasn’t. “Spencer, what are you thinking?” Hotch asked hoping to see where the boy’s mind was. “Shouldn’t need it. Shouldn’t need any of this. It’s stupid. Im stupid. I just need to get over it. Gideon left me, nothing I can do about it so why am I crying over it?” Reid said beginning to sound bigger and bigger as he began to vocalize his spiraling thoughts. “Spencer none of that is true. Do you think JJ or Derek needs to just get over it or not regress?”  
“Well no, but it’s different”  
“What about me?”  
“You don’t regress?”  
“No, but caregiving helps me. Just like regressing helps you. I love taking care of you Spencer, it helps me feel better. Especially when I feel so helpless and out of control, knowing that I can make you smile or feel safe is the best feeling in the world”  
“But Im so much work, and Im too young and…”  
“Spencer listen to me. You are my baby boy and I love taking care of you, no matter how old or young you are” The love that Hotch expressed finally broke Reid. He jumped into Hotch’s arms crying once more. “Let it all out baby, Im right here,” Hotch said as he began rubbing his hand in circles on Reid’s back. He sat with the boy in his arms until Reid was ready to try getting ready again.   
“Ready,” Reid said, pulling back a bit to wipe at his tears. Hotch handed Reid a box of tissues, helping clear away the tears. “Okay, do you have an answer to my earlier question?”  
“Diaper,” Reid said looking down to avoid the embarrassment of admitting that he needed the protection. “Okay diaper it is,” Hotch said as he stood up. He walked over to the changing table, set Reid down, and pulled out the necessary supplies. Hotch made sure to set everything he needed out so it could be as quick as possible. Once he was set up Hotch turned on some music, hoping to distract Reid if at all possible. “Hey, baby look who came to visit,” Hotch said in a sing-songy voice as he brought out Reid’s penguin. “Benny!” Reid said excitedly to see his favorite stuffie. He quickly cuddled into his friend, hiding his face into the plush penguin.

Before Reid knew it the diaper change was all done and Hotch was helping him into his new outfit. The diaper as embarrassing as it was helped Reid settle down into his headspace and relax. “There’s my baby, all dressed and ready to go read” Hotch smiled at the boy, admiring the outfit they had picked out. It had taken longer than he had planned but Ried looked more relaxed more in his headspace, and that was worth the time. Hotch brought Reid a new paci and clipped it to his overalls. He brought the pacifier up to Reid’s mouth helping it in. “What book would you like to read?” Hotch asked as he brought Reid over to the bookshelf. Reid pointed at two different books, Winne the pooh and a cute little story about an astronaut penguin. Hotch picked up the books, and secured Reid in his arms “Would you like to read in here, living room or outside?” Hotch asked testing how shy Reid was feeling. There were days where Reid didn’t like being around others, too overwhelming, and other days he couldn’t get enough of his family. “Outside,” Reid said behind his pacifier. “Sounds like a great idea baby” Hotch carried Reid out of the room, walking outside where a nice porch swing was where he could hold Reid and read to him. The passed the others in the living room, JJ and Derek were awake and coloring while Penelope and Emily were working on some snacks in the kitchen nearby. It was a surprisingly calm scene, normally JJ and Derek were much louder and energetic, but today it seemed like all the littles in the house need a calm quiet day. 

Reid and Hotch stayed outside even after they finished their books, Spencer was happy to be outside where he could watch the clouds and rock on the swing. Hotch played some calming Disney piano songs, to help with the calm mood Reid was in. Eventually, it came close to dinner and JJ came outside to let them know. Hotch thanked her and said they would be in soon. “Okay baby lets go get some food in you,” Hotch said as he picked Reid up and went to go inside. Reid let out a small whine, “We can go back outside after”  
“Thanks for making dinner, you guys didn’t have to do that” Hotch said as he walked into his kitchen. JJ and Derek were already seated, mac and cheese and some carrots on their plate as well as a sippy cup for each, JJ had apple juice and Derek had orange juice. “Looked like you two were having fun out there, no reason to stop you guys,” Penelope said as she brought over a dish for both Reid and Hotch. “Well thank you”  
“Of course, now let’s eat” Emily added as she set down next to JJ helping her eat, and encouraging her to finish her veggies. Hotch had no idea how close the two had grown but it was a lovely sight to see none the less. “Mama don’t want any more” JJ whined as she tried to push her dinner away. “Two more bites baby and then you can be done” Emily bargained. JJ nodded and took the last two bites before looking back up at Emily, “Go wash your hands then you can go back to your coloring”  
“Thank you, mama!” JJ said excitedly as she ran to the kitchen sink. Emily smiled to herself, honestly just happy to see JJ so happy. “How do you do that?!” Penelope whispered a little jealous of how easily JJ just listened to her caregiver, “It’s less me and more JJ”  
“Great” Penelope said as she sighed looking over to her little, covered in mac and cheese. “Derek I think you got more mac and cheese on you than you did in you,” Penelope said laughing at the sight before her. “Mommy, can I be done too?” Derek asked seeing JJ coloring. “Yes you may, but we need to get you cleaned up before you go back to your coloring”  
“But Mommy I wanna go play with JJ”  
“I know, bath first then play. Plus you have all today and tomorrow to play”   
“Really?!”  
“Yes, now my little prince lets go get you washed up” Penelope stood up and grabbed Derek’s hand taking them to the bathroom so he could get clean before changing into his PJs. Last at the table was Spencer and Hotch, Spencer was a slow eater but being as little as he was meant he didn’t eat much. Hotch was able to get Spencer to eat a bit but decided it would be better to give him a protein shake in a bottle to make sure he got enough to eat. Hotch picked up Spencer, cleaned his face and hands before putting him on the couch next to Emily and JJ. “I’ll be right back baby, just gonna go make you a bottle” Hotch walked into the kitchen, as he left Spencer whined, tears ready to fall. “Hey, Spencer, who’s that?” Emily said pointing to his penguin. Despite Spencer having the stuffie for a over a year he hadn’t come up with a name until recently and was just knowing starting to share the name with his family. “Benny”   
“Well, it’s nice to meet you, Benny. I’m Emily, and this is JJ” Emily said shaking the penguin’s small hand. This little interaction caused Spencer to giggle. “Okay baby, you wanna have your bottle here or outside?” Hotch asked, staying true to his earlier promise. “Outside!” Reid said excitedly because he loved being outside and looking at the stars. “Mama, can we go outside too?” JJ asked not knowing outside was an option. Emily smiled, “Of course”. The four stood up and went outside. Hotch and Spencer to the swing where Hotch fed Spencer his bottle, they stared at the stars Spencer pointed at any bright ones he thought were really pretty. JJ originally wanting to play convinced her Mama to play a game of tag before the two ended up on the ground giggling as Emily tickled JJ until she was gasping for breaths. 

Penelope and Derek soon joined the four outside, Derek laid on the grass beside JJ pointing at stars and making shapes together. Penelope sat down on the swing next to Reid and Hotch, “Hey baby boy” Penelope said planting a kiss on the boy’s cheek. Reid giggled and wiggled towards Penelope, she smiled at the boy. “What a beautiful family,” Hotch said as he took in the sight before him. “It really is” Penelope agreed as she watched Derek and JJ make up constellations, Emily laughing and playing with them, Spencer staring up at the stars happily sucking on his pacifier. It was the perfect little family.


	10. New team member

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when David Rossi begins working with the BAU. Will he be willing to be part of their team and their little family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place Season 3 Ep 6, David Rossi's first episode.

Reid knew that at some point Gideon would have to be replaced, he just didn’t expect it to be so soon. Why did they have to replace Gideon now, what if he came back? Reid knew that Gideon wouldn’t come back, but the little part of him, the non-agent side, wished that he did. The only good news was that it was Halloween, which meant candy and costumes! It would be nice to have some little time during Halloween, maybe eat some candy and watch Charlie Brown!

Not too soon into the morning agent David Rossi entered the building, Reid quickly lost his silly costume when he saw agent Rossi. He felt so embarrassed, agent Rossi, the man whose book he memorized, like everything he reads, saw him in his costume. After asking around he determined that agent Rossi would be Gideon’s replacement. Reid couldn’t help but hope that Rossi could help replace the hole Gideon had left in more ways than one. It would be great to have a mentor and caregiver again, not that Hotch wasn’t amazing, but it just wasn’t the same.

As the case went on Reid attempted to bond and get to know Rossi better, but to no avail. Rossi wasn’t used to teamwork and especially a team that was as close as theirs. Reid looked up to Rossi, he thought he could be his next Gideon, but he wasn’t. No one could replace Gideon, no one could be what Gideon was to Reid, and that hurt. Reid knew he wasn’t alone, but he might as well be at that point. He knew he was loved and supported but it wasn’t the same. Reid dreaded the plane ride home because that used to be when he regressed after the case and relaxed with his family, he doubted it would happen this time around. What if Rossi didn’t agree with their coping mechanism? Would the rest of his little family stop it as well? Would no one play with him ever again? Or help take care of him? Reid’s thoughts began to spiral as he thought of all the possibilities.   
The case came to an end, it wasn’t how their cases went because of Hotch having to deal with Rossi and show him how the BAU runs things nowadays. Reid couldn’t help but feel nervous it all ended, he stayed close to Morgan, Emily, and JJ, since Hotch was busy talking with Rossi. Despite wanting to ask the question that was all probably on their minds, he couldn’t bring the words out of his mouth, another sign that his regression was starting to force itself to the front of his brain. Reid accepted this fate, deciding non-verbal was probably going to be the best way to get through the plane ride home. He was afraid that if he talked it would be too childish or just calling for his Dada, he wished he could just call for Dada and cuddle. As Reid’s mind wandered and began to age down he walked closer to Morgan almost cuddling into him as they walked onto the plane. Morgan noticed and decided it was best to casually lean into Reid hoping to give him some comfort. Just like Reid the rest of the team had no idea what would happen on the plane ride back. Would they regress or hide it from Rossi?

Hotch sat down near Rossi as they continued their conversation, it wasn’t hostile but it wasn’t pleasant. Having Rossi on the team was definitely going to take some getting used to but Hotch was open to the idea. What Hotch was afraid of was how Rossi would react to the flight back and the way they all helped each other cope after a long day. Hotch didn’t want to out anyone for the coping mechanism so he kind of just waited to see what would happen. Hotch looked over to where the other four were sitting, he noticed Reid had his knees pulled up to his chest and was seated close to Morgan. Reid had definitely regressed, he wasn’t sure if any of the other team members had regressed yet or not. Hotch took a deep breath as he processed his options. Go help Reid and keep it low key, go help Reid and use this as an example for Rossi, or ignore Reid and take care of him after. The last option wasn’t going to happen because Hotch couldn’t bring himself to ignore his little boy, but he wasn’t sure about how to go about it. Well, it didn’t matter much because it looked like that decision was being made for him, as Reid let out a loud sob and began running towards him. Hotch went over to the boy, picked him up, and began bouncing him on his hip, “Baby what happened?”  
“Wanted you, but Derek said I couldn’t and got sad and and please don’t leave,” Reid said through his sobs. Derek was following behind Reid, “I'm sorry Hotch, I just…” Derek stopped talking as his eyes drifted to the floor and tears began welling in his own eyes. Hotch walked over to Derek, “Hey Derek, look at me buddy. Thank you for helping take care of Spencer, he’s really lucky to have you as a big brother. You did such a good job” Hotch praised as he gave Derek a big hug, well as much as he could while holding Reid. “Now Derek what would you like to do right now?”  
“Color?”   
“Of course. JJ. Emilly. How are you two doing?”  
“Fine Hotch” they both responded, Hotch wasn’t buying it though. Hotch held his hand out to Derek as they went back to their spots near JJ and Emily. “Big or little right now?” Hotch asked as he sat down. “Hotch I'm fine” Emily responded, sounding more tired than anything. “Okay, and JJ” JJ simply shrugged, confused by her headspace. “Okay, now what headspace would you like to be in? Not what headspace you think you need to be in, but what you want”   
“Little” JJ said quietly, Hotch simply nodded and smiled at the girl. “Little, I think,” Emily said, looking unsure of her answer. “Okay, how about I go get some coloring pages, and some snacks. That sound good?” JJ, Emily, and Derek nodded feeling a bit more at ease knowing Hotch wasn’t forcing them out of their headspace. “Any requests for snacks?”  
“Apple Juice”  
“Popcorn”  
“Fruit?” Emily, Derek, and JJ added. Hotch once again nodded at the responses, smiling at his family. “Okay, I’ll be right back.” Hotch went to get up, Reid’s grip tightened so it looked like he would be going with him. Hotch walked back to where the little supplies and snacks were, as he began pulling everything out he realized he would need some help carrying everything. Hotch decided to call David over, “Hey David, could use your help carrying some stuff real quick if you don’t mind” Rossi seemed a little taken back at being asked for help, but stood up nonetheless. Hotch had handed the four coloring books and containers of markers, crayons, and pencils to Reid. Which left the snack, stuffies, and drinks for Hotch and Rossi. Hotch handed Rossi the popcorn and fruit bowls, as those were the most normal objects. Rossi nodded and grabbed the two bowls and began following the pair to the rest of the team. “Okay here we go, coloring books, crayons, markers, pencils, and some snacks. And of course, for JJ we have Andy the teddy bear, for Emily, we have Bo the fox, for Derek we have Phil the dinosaur, and of course Benny the penguin for Spencer” After Hotch handed out all of the items he sat down, Reid still securely in his arms. At some point while calming down Reid had stuck his thumb in his mouth, Hotch reached for a pacifier in the bag, clipped it to Reid’s chest, and handed him the object. Reid looked surprised, clearly not aware that he had been sucking his thumb, “Its okay baby” Hotch encouraged, not wanting the boy to be afraid to use comfort items. Reid took his paci and began sucking at it methodically as he hid further into Hotch’s chest. Hotch began rubbing circles on the boys back, trying to ground him.

After observing for a while, Rossi spoke to Hotch, “So what is this exactly?”  
“It's called age regression. It's a coping mechanism that the team found really helps after a case. They let their mind regress and relax, it will often go to an age that they associate with safety or happiness. Being that young allows them to escape the horrors and trauma we see every day out on the field”  
“Do you?”  
“No, I only really take care of them. Caregiving in itself is a coping mechanism, it helps me feel in control and like I can help keep my team safe and happy”  
“Do they do this often?”  
“As often as they need to. A lot of the time they regress involuntarily, but we try to encourage them to regress when they want or feel like they need to in order to not regress at unwanted times. I need you to understand this Rossi, this team is a family in more ways than one. We would never do something that would be bad for one another” Hotch said, not wanting Rossi to think anyone would go out into the field if they weren’t in the right headspace. Rossi nodded processing the information. He looked at the agents around him, they seemed happy. JJ, Emily, and Derek were coloring and laughing like they hadn’t just worked a terrible murder case. “Was Gideon part of this little family?” Rossi asked, trying to get a better understanding of the family. At the mention of Gideon Reid let out a small whine and buried himself further into Hotch. “Yes he was, he was Reid’s first caregiver” Rossi nodded, suddenly understanding more of why the boy wanted so desperately to bond with him. He could replace Gideon on the field but could he replace Gideon on the team, in their family. Well no, replace isn’t the right way to go about it Rossi decided, he couldn’t be Gideon, but he could still be part of the team and even this little family if they would let him, it might be nice to have a family again. “Do they know who I am?”   
“Kind of. They know who you are, but they don’t know how you fit into this picture yet. They are still nervous around you because they are afraid you’ll judge them”  
“Should I introduce myself?”  
“Sure, but do it like you would with a child. Compliment their coloring and introduce yourself. You don’t need to indicate a role just that you will respect their safe place” Rossi nodded and looked towards the agents unsure how to properly do this. “Hey, Spencer, who’s that you got?” Rossi asked, deciding that the youngest of the bunch might be the easiest to talk to. Spencer looked up slowly, finding the source of the voice, “Benny” he said in a small voice behind his paci. “Well hello Benny, Im David” Rossi held out his hand to shake the stuffed penguins but waited for Reid to trust him enough to touch his stuffie first. Reid caught on and brought Benny’s arm up to Rossi’s to shake. The interaction made him smile, he felt more at ease, because if Benny trusted this new man then he could too. Rossi repeated this tactic with the other littles getting them to smile and be less afraid towards him. It would be a while till they felt 100% comfortable around him but this was a step in the right direction. 

When the plane landed Reid lay in Hotch’s arms fast asleep, ready to go home to his nursery at Hotch’s house. Garcia was waiting for Derek when they landed, he ran to her without falling this time, which Garcia said was worth celebrating which is why they were currently dancing on the airstrip. JJ had aged up once they landed and was taking Emily home with her to help take care of her, Emily was holding JJ's hand as they walked out the airplane when she tugged at her arm, “Yes Emily?”  
“Mommy when we get home can we watch Monsters Inc?”  
“Sounds like a plan, little one” JJ said as she and Emily made their way to the car. David walked with Hotch to his car, “Thank you Rossi” Hotch said as they began to part ways. “Thank you Hotch, you didn’t have to let me into your team, and you didn’t have to let me into your family but I'm glad you did,” Rossi said as he looked over at the sleeping agent. Reid let out a small yawn and curled further into Hotch, Rossi couldn’t help but smile at the sight. “Well have a goodnight Rossi, we’ll see you later,” Hotch said, deciding it was time to get Reid home and into a proper bed that wasn’t his arms.


	11. Penelope needs a hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Penelope has been shot, Derek is there for her when she needs it most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> takes place during season 3 episodes 8 and 9

Penelope was shot, that thought seemed unreal and yet it was the only thing running through Derek’s mind. He was kicking himself for not knowing and not being there sooner, it didn’t matter how much the team attempted to console him and remind him that there was nothing he could have done, he still felt guilty. Penelope was shot. Mommy was shot, a smaller part of him cried out. As tempting as it was to regress right now his caregiver side was starting to get louder. His baby was shot, she needed him, but he had to wait. Wait for the doctors to let him in, and even then he wouldn’t be able to take care of her completely, not yet at least.  
“Derek you gotta stop pacing,” Reid said trying to put a hand on Derek’s shoulder. “Reid I need to pace, my baby is in there, she was shot and all I can do is sit out here and wait for her and pray she is okay,” Derek said with a sigh in his voice. Reid just nodded and moved away to sit closer to Hotch and JJ. Reid who had been regressed at the end of the case had pulled himself out of his headspace to help deal with the situation at hand. None of the team felt as if they could regress, not when all of their brains were focused on Penelope, making sure she was okay, and catching the jack ass who shot her.  
The doctor finally allowed the team in, as much as they wanted to spend the whole time checking on Garcia they had questions that needed to be answered. They got through the interview, revealing the man to be the person Garcia went out on a date with. Derek grew furious at this information, not at Garcia but merely himself, and the man who shot her obviously, for not being there. He was the reason this happened, if they hadn’t gotten into their fight then she wouldn’t have gone out and she wouldn’t be in this position. As the rest of the team went to work on the case Derek refused to leave, Reid stayed behind as well.  
Days went by in the hospital, but Garcia was eager to get out of the hospital and back home. She wasn’t surprised that Derek came with her, ever since the incident he hadn’t left her side. How the dynamic would change when they got home she wasn’t sure, it was clear that one of them would regress but she wasn’t sure who. She wasn’t sure what Derek would want, she knew he had a caregiving side, it often showed when Reid was little and Derek was not but none the less treated him like his little brother, taking care of him. Garcia didn’t regress much, for her caregiving was more of her style, but trauma like this could make a person regress. She would be lying if she said the thought of crying into Derek’s arms as he held her didn’t sound appealing.  
“Okay baby girl, we are home. Let’s get you all settled in. I figured I could set up some movies and comfy blankets on your bed for you?” Derek suggested. Garcia just nodded liking the idea of being held and close to Derek. Derek smiled and brushed back some of her hair as he leaned over to plant a kiss on her forehead. “You think you can get into the bed by yourself?” Derek asked, wanting to give Penelope any independence and free movement when she could. Penelope nodded once again and walked towards her bedroom as Derek gathered snacks, pillows, blankets, and movies.  
Unfortunately, the comfy set up was interrupted by the investigation. It dragged on and yet Derek stayed with Penelope. After the long tech battle and realization of who the unsub truly was Penelope started to crash and regress. The stress was a lot to handle, and she was so tired. Recovering from a bullet wound was stressful and tiring enough, but the additional fear of thinking this was all her own fault was the pressure she couldn’t take. Hotch later assured her that her job was still secure but to avoid these sorts of things in the future. Eventually, it was just Derek and Penelope once again. Derek brought her back to their comfy setup and held her as she laid on his chest. He played with her hair and her ear, just enjoying holding her when he heard the sound of crying. He looked down to see tears streaming down her face, “Oh baby what’s wrong?” Penelope couldn’t answer. Her sobs began to grow in volume, she was overwhelmed and began to shake slightly. “Hey baby it’s okay, Im gonna sit us up just a bit to help with you breathing, okay?” Derek said more narrating then asking, knowing how hard it is to respond in panic. “Ready let’s breathe together. In…..and out…..good job baby. In...and out…..Breathe in the positivity…..breathe out the panic….” Derek continued to narrate their breathing until Penelope’s breathing calmed down. “Great job baby, Im so proud of you,” He said as he leaned over to kiss her cheek. Penelope weakly smiled at the affection. “How are you feeling?”  
“Sweepy” Penelope responded, her voice smaller and quieter than normal. “You feeling little?” Derek asked to hope to help Penelope into her headspace so she could truly heal without all of the adult headspace trauma and pressure that it brought on. “Yeah, that otay?”  
“Of course it is. I always love taking care of my baby girl. Would you like to change into some littler clothes or what you have now”  
“Change”  
“Okay, Im gonna get up and bring them to you and help you with them, then we can cuddle and watch something” Penelope nodded liking this idea, she wanted cuddles. “How about pink monsters inc sweater, and purple shorts with some fuzzy white socks?” Derek asked holding up the outfit. Penelope smiled and nodded the outfit was cute, but Daddy like the outfit and that was all that mattered to her. “Okay baby, underwear good, or should we change into diapers or pull-ups?” Penelope blushed at the question and shrugged as she looked down towards her feet. “Baby I know its hard, but remember it whatever you want”  
“Pull up?” Penelope asked, “You got it, baby,” Derek said as he went to go get her one. He returned with a pull-up and the outfit previously agreed upon. Derek helped her into her outfit, he couldn’t stop smiling his baby was so beautiful. “Oh baby you are so beautiful,” Derek said as he leaned down to kiss her, the kiss turned into lots of tiny little kisses as he peppered Penelope with kisses filled with love. She began giggling at the action, “Daddy” Penelope laughed out. “Okay, okay. Now would you like anything else stuffie, paci, blanket?” Derek asked, not sure what comfort items Penelope would want. She simply nodded at the question, Derek couldn’t help but laugh and smile. “You got it, baby, anything for my princess” Derek got up again to fetch the comfort items. He returned with a pink paci that said: “Tech Baby” with lots of glitter and sparkly gems decorating it, along with her purple bunny Cloud, and her pink fluffy blanket. Penelope reached out for the items, “Open up” Derek said as he brought the paci out to Penelope, she opened her mouth and took the paci happily. She smiled behind the paci and began sucking as Derek returned to his spot holding her. Derek handed her stuffie and blankie before pulling her closer and holding her tight. He put on Winne the Pooh and turned off the main lights, the only light coming from the TV and purple string lights around the room. “I love you so much baby,” Derek said as he leaned down to kiss her head, “Love you too Daddy!” Penelope said as she leaned further into him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tempted to do a continuation of his and maybe have little Penelope with the other littles


	12. 3 littles and a caregiver

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Derek is determined to help care for a little Penelope

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after the last chapter.  
> Thank you Ohiogurl101 for the prompt:  
> "I would like to see you write something up where both Derek and Garcia regress and Hotch ends up taking care of both then and Spence."

Penelope and Derek spent the remainder of the day cuddled in her room watching movies. Derek continued to take care of Penelope through the night making sure she was comfortable and safe. Everything seemed to be going well until a nightmare came. Derek woke up in a sweat, tears streaming down his face, as he held back sobs and screams. Wanting to call out for his mommy, but he didn’t. Derek couldn’t force Penelope to take care of him, he was supposed to be taking care of her. He took a deep breath and sat up, he used all the calming skills they had been working on. He slowly started to feel calm and tiredness return to his body, he looked over to Penelope. He was relieved to see her peacefully asleep. Derek laid back down curling up next to Penelope, he felt safe, he felt better. It didn’t take long for him to fall back asleep.  
The sun began to rise, it slowly started to fill the bedroom with light, not that it seemed to bother the two. They slept peacefully until Derek’s phone began to ring, he groaned and slowly rolled over and answered. “What?” Derek said sleep covering his voice. “Hey Derek, it's Hotch. Just wanted to check in on you two”  
“Oh. Thanks, Hotch. We’re good, just tired”  
“She sleep okay?”   
“Yeah, still sleeping,” Derek said trying to hide his own restless sleep behind the laugh. “Well, Spencer and I could come by later, bring you guys some food or just company”  
“Reid regress last night?”  
“Yeah he regressed pretty young, so I imagine he’ll be next to me for most of the day. But we’d love to see you both if you are up to it” Hotch offered. Derek thought about the offer. Part of him wanted to be with his family, but that was the part that wanted to be little. Derek knew that if he went over he would regress, and he couldn’t do that to Penelope, she needed him. “Derek, did Penelope regress last night?”   
“Yeah, I mean she went through a hell of a lot”  
“How’s it going?”  
“She’s amazing Hotch, but….”  
“But what?”

“But. God Hotch I was so close to slipping last night after a nightmare, and Im barely holding it together but I don’t wanna bother her and….ughhh”  
“Derek, Reid, and I will be over in an hour. It's okay if you need to or want to regress, you have also been through a lot. We all have”  
“But I thought I could enjoy just caregiving. It’s not like I don’t it just hard not to slip”  
“I know bud, but being there for Penelope doesn’t just mean as her ‘Daddy’ its also as her friend and partner”  
“You’re right. Okay see you soon Hotch”  
“See you soon. I’ll text you when we leave” Derek hung up the phone and sat up looking over at Penelope. He should probably wake her and warn her, help her get dressed. He took a deep breath, trying to prepare himself. “Good morning beautiful,” Derek said reaching down to brush some hair away from her face. Penelope made a small noise behind her pacifier that was still in her mouth from last night. “Morning?” She asked confused. “Yes baby its morning, and guess who’s coming by?”  
“Who?”  
“Spencer and Hotch!”  
“Really?!”  
“Yeah, so how about we get you dressed in some comfys and get all your medicine taken care of so when they get here we can just play,” Derek said starting to stand up so he could help her up and off the bed. Penelope looked up and smiled at Derek, she stretched her arms out so he could help her up. They got her out of bed and into the bathroom, Derek helped her changed and clean her bandage, take her medicine and then they moved to get her dressed. Derek wasn’t as great with the outfits as Penelope was but he thought she looked adorable in her purple onesie with light blue bloomers, of course, accompanied by some fuzzy pink socks that had little owls on them. After getting Penelope dressed he dug out her blanket, and bunny ‘Cloud’ so she would have everything she needed. He set Penelope up in the living room so he could go get dressed, “I’ll be right back” Derek said as he made his way back into the living room. As he pulled out his bag he checked his phone, a text from Hotch saying they had left 20 minutes ago, meaning they would be here in about 10 minutes. Derek pulled out some clothes for the day not sure what to wear, he knew he wouldn’t regress that young so sweats and a comfy blue tee would be perfect. He dug out his stuffie just in case, he gave him a quick squeeze and headed back to the living room.   
Hotch carried Reid to Garcia’s door, Reid while awake was very clingy and had not let Hotch really let go of him since he woke up from his latest nightmare. Hotch knocked on the door, he was greeted with a happy Derek and a waving Penelope from the couch. “Good morning you two” Hotch announced as he walked in, he gave Derek a small hug and ushered him to follow him back to the living room. Hotch sat down next to Penelope, picking Reid up and trying to face him towards Penelope, “Spencer look who it baby. It’s Penelope!” Hotch said, trying to encourage the boy to uncover himself. Spencer looked up from where he was trying to hide himself back in Hotch’s shoulder and saw Penelope! “Pen!” Spencer said excitedly behind his pacifier, he began to bounce a little. Penelope saw this excitement and smiled and waved at the boy, she was currently older than Spencer but not by much. Derek smiled from his spot, trying not to feel left out. “And look who else is her Spenc, its Derek!” Spencer turned to where Hotch was pointing, he saw Derek. Derek smiled at the boy, “Bubba!” Spencer said. The nickname had started when the team started to encourage the littles to see each other as a family and sometimes siblings. “Bubba?” Penelope asked, confused as to who that might be. Spencer was pointing at Derek, but Penelope thought Derek was ‘Daddy’. Derek smiled at Penelope, he was unsure of how to explain this. “Derek do you want to be Bubba?” Hotch asked trying to encourage the other to drop now that he was here to help take care of him and Penelope. Derek nodded, “Yup I’m Bubba” Derek announced proud of the title, he was always proud that he was the best big brother to Spencer, and now he got the opportunity to care for Penelope while being little, it was perfect. Derek got up and walked towards Penelope, she was still confused but it didn’t matter to her what role Derek played, he made her happy and smile and that was good enough for her. “Bubba!” She said excitedly opening her arms for a hug. Derek smiled and gave Penelope a hug. As Hotch watched the display in front of him a realization hit, he now had three littles to take care of. It was going to be an interesting day.

“Okay, I think it’s time for some breakfast. Everyone hungry?” They all nodded and looked towards Hotch as if breakfast would just appear like that. “Well, how’s pancakes sound?”   
“Chocolate chip pancakes?” Derek asked.  
“Thats a great idea Derek, we can do that” Hotch said. He began to stand up, he would have to put Reid down because there was no way that holding Reid while making pancakes would go well. “Baby boy, I gotta put you down now so I can go make pancakes. But I’m gonna be right over there. Penelope and Derek will be right here with you. How about I turn on some scooby doo and I’ll bring out some coloring for you guys to work on while I cook” Hotch said as he began to gather the supplies. Reid sniffled a little but nodded, trying to be a good boy for his Dada. “Okay guys, here are some crayons and paper. I’ll be right over there if you need anything” Hotch set down the supplies, turned on scooby doo, and walked towards the kitchen. He began making the batter, he watched the little from the kitchen unable to contain his smile as he watched the three play. Every once in awhile Reid would look up for him and see him and visibly relax, Hotch would wave at the boy causing him to blush. Penelope or Derek would see Hotch waving and start waving back at the man, this always caused Hotch to smile and let out a small laugh.   
After a few episodes of scooby doo, the pancakes were done. “Okay, guys breakfast time. Everyone up let’s go wash our hands so we can eat” Hotch said as he walked over to pause the episode. Spencer quickly stood up so he could snuggle up to his Dada, Penelope looked over to Derek, “Up?” She said knowing she couldn’t do it herself yet. Hotch was about to reach over to help but Derek beat him to it. “Ready, and up!” Derek said as he helped her up, they both giggled and smiled. The pair held hands as they made their way to the sink. It was cute to watch how close they were, and as much as Derek gave himself a hard time for wanting to regress it’s not like his regression didn’t have underlying elements of caregiving in it, it was just always in a big brother way. The three made their way to the table. Hotch divided up the pancakes and handed out drinks. A bottle of apple juice for Spencer, a bottle of orange juice for Penelope, and a sippy cup of apple juice for Derek. The meal went well but it didn’t take long into breakfast for the three littles to be covered in their breakfast. After breakfast, Hotch would have to clean them up, get them changed and convince them they would need a nap because by then Hotch would need one too.

**Author's Note:**

> I literally just watched the epsiode and needed to write this after. I have not watched past this point in the series so apologizes if things are off base for how the series progresses, also no spoilers please


End file.
